


How Great the Loss

by OwlFeathers (AngelofAlderaan)



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/M, Five Stages of Grief, Grief/Mourning, Redemption, Sacrifice, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:00:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27333805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelofAlderaan/pseuds/OwlFeathers
Summary: Bulma witnesses Vegeta fall to Babidi's power and deals with seeing him become evil once again.A POV of the beginning of the Buu Saga from Bulma perspective, and how she emotionally deals with seeing the man she loves become what she feared once again.
Relationships: Bulma Briefs/Vegeta
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20





	How Great the Loss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vegetatarian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vegetatarian/gifts).



That morning he had told her that she looked beautiful. He wasn't one for compliments, but he had been in a good mood. In fact, they all had been in one, knowing that Goku was coming back for the day. After that, he didn't say much to her, Vegeta was far to focused on the events to come that day. After over ten years, he would finally settle the score between he and his rival. The airship buzzed with electricity, elation at seeing her best friend after seven years, excitement to see who would win the World Tournament. Any other wife would have been annoyed at basically being ignored, but she knew her husband well, and he wasn't like any other man. Besides, she had her own quirks. She was unorganized, spent hours working on projects in her lab, and easily flew off the handle when upset. She also was as stubborn as it got. But so was he. They had an understanding and as far as she was aware, things worked for them. She even had to say that she had fallen more in love with him over the years.

When they arrived, everyone was anxious to go searching for Goku. Before some of the group could split up to look, Baba appeared with the shagy haired Saiyan. Bulma had to keep herself from bursting into tears. Of course, Vegeta was the picture of interference. She figured as much. All he cared about was settling the score between them from a battle fought over ten years ago. The proud prince and his grudge. For months leading up to the event, Vegeta trained harder than ever, pushing himself to the brink. She barely saw him. But this she knew was par for the course. Most of their relationship had been him striving to be the best, the strongest warrior in the universe. She had to admire his passion.

They understood one another in that way. She was always working on something wonderful, and threw herself into every project with abandon. He admired her for it, as much as she his drive to achieve his own goals. Vegeta had also been one of the few who took the time to understand and listen to her. He may not have always comprehended everything she was working on, but he respected it and took great pride in what she did. And in turn, she supported all of his efforts. Bulma was the prince's greatest cheerleader, and believed in him even more than he did himself. She knew he had doubts. Behind his wall of confidence and arrogance, was a man wounded by his past.

Everything had been working out perfectly earlier that morning. Her best friend had returned and her husband was slotted to fight him right away and settle their grudge match. Now, hours later she was looking down at the two men in the arena below. The closing ceremonies had just got underway, and Hercule had been strutting about the stage declaring his rather suspicious victory over 18. The two Saiyans had never even showed up to fight. Everything about what had transpired over the last hour or so was strange. Then Vegeta had appeared out of nowhere with Goku, Gohan, and the mysterious fighter Shin. But something didn't seem right. Vegeta was at Super Saiyan, golden aura pulsing around him, and his stance...was off, that was all she could tell at that distance. She had seen him spar more times than she could count, she could see every one of his moves in her sleep. This stance was his, sure, but all wrong. The crowd carried on in a hushed murmur, but over it, he could hear the voices from down below, and Vegeta's sounded harsh and hollow. A wicked sneer filled his face. Her heart sunk to her stomach and she felt instantly sick. That grimace, that evil smile, he had worn it long ago, when he was a different man.

The glowing prince held up a hand, pointing at his rival, movements almost forced, like he was some kind of marionette. Bulma couldn't make out what he was saying, but in seconds, Goku was yelling "Vegeta, no!" as he stretched his palm out towards the other Saiyan. 

Then she heard the laugh, and an ice cold chill filled her veins. Bulma's went dizzy for a moment, as images of a different version of her husband filled her mind, a villainous laugh as he pummeled Goku with ki blasts. No, she told herself, he had come so far, he was a changed man. He had learned to care, and possibly even love. He had never spoken those words to her, but his actions each day showed her, and that was all she had ever needed.

Light filled the center of the stadium and focused in on Goku, who put his arms up defensively. A direct blast hit him, but he pushed it back, straining. With a cry, Vegeta pushed the blast further, sending Goku across the platform. After a long moment, he couldn't hold it any longer, and lost control, getting flung to the sky. The energy blast was sent soaring toward towards the stands. Panic filled the air as people ran to avoid the pending devastation.

As the smoke cleared, she stared in disbelief as the dark prince jeered at the resulting chaos. Vegeta's eyes cut away from destruction for a moment and up to the stands. She swore he stared right at her, cackling. Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. "No, how could he." She began to sink, holding on to the rail to keep her balance. "This is too awful, there must be some...mistake." She barely got the words out before the world went black.

In her fog, she could hear that viscous laughter and Goku shouting at the man she had come to love. She blinked a few times as she heard the sound of ki powering up. The world swam before her eyes. And that was when the second blast hit, just meters from the Earth's protectors. A ringing filled her ears and slowly was replaced by the screams of fear and death. Rocks, debris, and dust were sent flying. 

Above the din, that voice, a voice she knew so well, which had spoken of understanding and trust, that had taken a vow to care for her until death, now corrupted and cruel responded. "Tell me, is it slavery when get what you want?" Vegeta raised his chin high, and a twisted grin filled his face. Her stomach turned in knots and ice ran through her veins. She wanted to wretch. This couldn't be.

Then man she loved was gone.

The following hour was a blur, but when she came out of her haze, she realized that Yamcha had helped her aboard her air ship and was piloting them away from the stadium. Her mind was a thousand places at once, but was jolted back when something jostled the ship. Yamcha did everything he could to keep the aircraft steady. When it had past, Roshi noted that it hadn't been just turbulence, but a massive energy blast. Bulma was shot back to reality and her heart plummeted once again, making her force back bile.

 _What is this horrible feeling in my heart? I...I think I know._ She gasped, her world coming crashing down. _Vegeta, what's happened to you?_ There wasn't a doubt in her mind, something else terrible had occurred. Though the others had always been able to sense ki, it was something she hadn't really thought about leaning. However over the years, she had always seem to have a sense of Vegeta, something she never could quite explain to herself. She knew when he was present near by, and she felt a pang when he took off in a huff for parts unknown to train. During his time in space, she had felt cold and hollow. Now that feeling returned sharply. It was as if-

No she didn't want to think that way. With everything that had transpired already that morning, she didn't think she could handle it.

Yamcha's voice brought her back out of her thoughts. The ship's controls weren't responding to him. Bulma had always been the one to come up with ideas to get them out of situations like this. This was her tech, she could always fix it, even on the fly, but now she found herself glued to her chair, unable to move or respond. Feeling-helpless, numb. She watched frozen as the aircraft began to plummet towards the earth. It was 18's motherly instincts that kicked in and delivered them to safety, as she leapt out and guided the plane to the ground below. While everyone else was heaving a sigh, Bulma's mind sunk low again, grappling with what may have happened to Vegeta. 

Someone had the idea of collecting the Dragon Balls, and before long, radar in hand, they were off gathering them to wish back the people her husband had killed. The whole trip she felt detached, but slowly over time, she came back to her senses, all emotion replaced by anger. How could she have been such a fool? They had been together for over seven years now and she honestly believed he had changed. Now she realized that he was still that heartless warrior from another world. Why he had acted otherwise was a mystery to her and at that moment she didn't care. She felt used. Images of long nights spent with the prince filled her mind and each one felt like a lie. ChiChi was still concerned about the boys, but Bulma knew better than anyone how well Saiyan children could take care of themselves. Her focus was now solely on gathering the balls to wish back the people that had been killed. She felt responsible for fixing the mistakes Vegeta had made.

The housewife questioned the heiress again about the boys, but Bulma's sixth sense was strong. “For some reason, I haven't been too worried about that. I did get a sick feeling in my heart about Vegeta though.” She paused, ire filling her once more. “He might need to be wished back to life, but I don't think I want to wish him back, unless he's back to the way he was...” Admitting her emotions concerning the prince felt better than she realized. Holding in her thoughts had been eating away at her.

ChiChi reassured her friend that Vegeta would be fine, a kind gesture, but Bulma still had deep seeded doubts about this. Of course Vegeta wouldn't let himself be controlled, his stubborn ass never did anything he didn't actually want himself, but if someone offered him the ability to become even more powerful-that was an offer she knew within the depths of her heart he could not easily refuse. 

Pushing aside thoughts of her husband, she focused once again on the task at hand. The last ball was a pain for them all to get a hold of, but after nearly getting eaten and some of them getting very wet, they finished their quest and headed home to Capsule Corp. Bulma's mind was set on restoring those who were killed. It wasn't lost on her that once again, she was cleaning up yet another Saiyan mess. 

Summoning the Dragon was always impressive, but she had to admit this time it felt different. Her mind froze. Would she wish Vegeta back if he was dead? Could she live, knowing what he had done? Yamcha chimed in, wishing all the good people back. Even after all these years, she realized that Yamcha had been watching her inner struggle and had thought of a wish that would solve her dilemma. Yes, if the prince was gone, he would be summoned back to life if he was worthy.

Deep in her heart though, she already knew that even if he was gone he wouldn't return. Shenron's booming voice asked for their second wish. _Oh right, a second wish._ Her thoughts reeled back. Maybe she _should_ wish him back, if for no other reason but to find out what the hell he was thinking, and send him packing. She and Trunks would be just fine without him-

Goku suddenly appeared before them and before she could even ask him what was going on, he was telling Shenron they weren't using their last wish. She stared at him, dumbfounded. With a flash, the great dragon disappeared, leaving nothing but blue sky in his wake. Yamcha stared at Goku, incredulous, asking him what was going on. He was there to bring them all to safety. There was a monster called Buu had been awakened by Goku's fight with Vegeta, and the others had made the decision to save the second wish in the fight against him. She was fine with having to gather the Dragon Balls again later if it meant helping save the Earth once more. 

Everyone took hands to go to the Look Out with Goku. Suddenly she realized her parents weren't holding on to anyone. They were insisting that they stay. It was obvious where she got her stubbornness she realized. Nothing she could stay could persuade them. She sighed. Yet another burdon of worry on her heart that day. She wasn't sure she could take any more of this. Damn that Saiyan. This was all his fault. If he hadn't been so eager to defeat Goku, that fiend Buu wouldn't have awoken.

Up at the Look Out, the mothers both looked around for their family, questioning Goku as to where their sons and Vegeta were. But Bulma already knew deep down the answer to her query. There was a long moment of tense silence. Krillin broke it, encouraging her best friend to speak what had happened.

“What I have to tell you isn't easy to say right now, but...Goten and Trunks are going to be alright.” He paused a moment. Bulma's heart clenched. “But Gohan and Vegeta are dead.” Everyone gasped, taking in this news. Bulma's mind froze. Although since that shockwave she suspected it, just hearing it was true didn't seem real. “Majin Buu destroyed them both.” Her best friend finished.

Videl was the first to speak after a long moment, denying that Gohan was gone. ChiChi fell backwards, her worst fears realized. Her father rushed to her side. But Bulma ignored all of this. She knew, had known, that he was gone for hours now, yet spent all that time in numbness, anger, and denial, just pushing on to the next thing so as not to face the awful truth. Vegeta was dead. She fought back the tears stinging her eyes fiercely, but then finally couldn't hold them back any longer. “Vegeta.” She whispered. Just speaking his name out loud hurt. “No, Vegeta!” She screamed. Even now, all she could think about was what he would say to her had he seen her crying. _Stop your wailing, woman. You know I can't stand to see you cry._

Instead of her prince's voice, it was Yamcha's that came, placing hands on her shoulders. “Bulma, pull yourself together. Bulma-” She knew he was trying to be kind, but he wasn't helping. She screamed out her denial once again. But it was true, all true. As she sat there weeping bitterly, feeling so hollow inside, a part of her realized that if he had been killed by Buu, it meant that he had faced the villain-faced him to save everyone. Had he tried to make amends for his actions that morning? She desperately hoped so. Today she had seen her worst fears come to light, not only the man she loved embracing the demon he once was, but finding out that he had been killed.

Once things had calmed down, and she had begun to breathe again, she found herself wandering. She needed time alone. Yamcha tried to follow, but she gave him “the leave me alone” glare, one he was far too familiar with. Eventually she found herself on some steps behind the Look Out, and sunk to her bottom. For a long time she just let herself grieve, crying hard. She had been with Vegeta for nearly eight years, a little romantic fling turning over time into a solid relationship. And while she had never expected it when she had invited him to stay with them all those years ago, she hadn't regretted a moment of it.

Until today.

She was angry for allowing herself to fall in love with him, for believing for a moment that he actually cared for her. How could such a man who had ravaged worlds ever truly know what love was. It was all a façade, a lie. And while he could have left Earth at any time, he had chosen to stay. She had thought that after all this time he had wished to stay because of her and Trunks, but she realized now that it had been no such thing. Bulma provided a roof over his head, training equipment, and food. That was all she had been good for. 

Yet, why, if he had just been using her all this time, did she still love him? No matter how angry she was at him, she was more upset at herself for loving him as much as she still did.

Light footsteps came up behind her, and she wiped her nose on the hankie that she had uncapsulated from her purse. She turned around slightly to find Dende there. His features were soft and understanding. “May I join you?” He indicated the step beside her.

Nodding, she turned back to stare at her lap, eyeing the fibers of her dress, the one Vegeta had found so beautiful on her that morning. Once again, she fought back tears. For a long moment, they sat in companionable silence. “Vegeta was sent to Hell, wasn't he?” It was more of a statement, than a fact.

The Gurdian nodded softly. “I'm afraid, so.”

Biting her lip, she nodded in return. “It's okay, Dende. I knew who he was when I married him. I thought he could change, that maybe being with me could make him better.”

The Namekian sighed, looking up to the cloudless sky. “No one can change unless they chose too. You can never make a person change who they are, not matter how much you love them. Before he came to Earth, Vegeta _was_ a very different man. But he has changed over time. He made the decision to stay on Earth, to be peaceful for so many years. For a warrior, that was a difficult choice to make. But he made it for you. Today he was lured by the promise of power and gave into it, but in the end he also made the choice to give up his own life for you and Trunks.” He paused gauging her reaction to this. “But even this could not redeem him of his past actions. Had he lived many more years and completely changed his heart, I do believe he could have been saved.” He placed a kind hand on her knee. “Vegeta is not to blame for his temptation, remember that. In the end, he did choose you, and that should be a comfort.”

After a long moment, she brought her eyes up to gaze at Dende.

“Vegeta was a complex man. But I 'm sure you know that better than anyone else. I can tell you one thing without a shadow of a doubt, he did love you. He may not have been in his right mind today, but he didn't chose power over you. He chose power because he felt weak.”

These last words were the thing she needed to hear most. To know that she hadn't been reject by him. Her thoughts raced back to his arrival on Earth, angry, broken, and lost. He was like a wild animal who had been hurt, yet over time, he had come to trust her, and that anger was replaced by respect, then later love. “Thank you, Dende.” She gazed back at her lap again. The guardian nodded, patted her knee, and rose.

“Take your time. There's some food laid out for you if you're hungry, too.” His footsteps faded away and she once again found herself alone.

Alone. The word itself made her feel cold. How could she go on without him. Vegeta had become such an important part of her life. From the moment he set foot in Capsule Corp. she made him new armor, built him a Gravity Room, constantly designed and built new things for him to keep him occupied and get stronger. Then Trunks arrived and they learned together what it meant to be parents. It was a new challenge, but one they faced as a team. And it drew the two of them closer. It was why he asked her to marry him. He liked having her by his side, and she couldn't imagine anyone else to go through life's hurtles with.

She could tell herself all day long that she could do this, to raise Trunks on her own. And she was sure she could, she had her family and friends at her side. But...she didn't want to. 

Bulma gripped the edges of her dress and frowned. _If_ they even survived this. And if they didn't...she wouldn't even have Vegeta on the other side to meet her. Bitter tears stung her eyes again. Standing up she crossed her arms, holding herself, and paced to the edge of the Look Out. She gazed out at the clouds below, the rolling green of the Earth spreading before her like a carpet, peeping out from the fluffy blanket. She didn't know what the future held for her or the rest of the Earth, or even how she would keep going, but at that moment she decided that she needed to hold strong. In her mind's eye she could see her proud prince floating there before her, arms crossed, a confidant smirk on his lips. _Woman._ The smirk turned into the full smile that he had only ever shown her. _You don't need me. You never have. Get back out there and keep fighting._ A ghostly hand reached out a hand, cupping her cheek, gloved thumb gently wiping a tear away. She closed her eyes, knowing she was imagining him, wishing he was more than just a figment of her imagination. When she opened them, the prince was gone. 

A gentle hand was placed on her shoulder, and she didn't need to look to know it was her best friend. “Why did he do it, Goku?”

“You know better than anyone that he had lost his faith in himself.” He sighed.

She nodded. “I never knew why.”

“He believed that I had taken away everything from him, but I think what scared him more was that by sparing his life, I helped him start a new one. He told me while we were fighting that I stole his pride, that he had to defeat me to take his rightful place that I had stolen.” He paused. The wind caught her scarf, playing with it.

“It's sad. He never learned.”

Now she turned her attention towards him. “Learned what?”

“He had everything he needed already to defeat anyone without Babidi's magic.” She frowned.

“What do you mean?” Now she was facing him, brows furrowed.

A gentle smile filled his features. “He had you and Trunks. He would do anything to protect you. That is the greatest strength of all.”

Behind him, Piccolo paced up. “He's right. The last thing he did was to make sure Trunks and Goten were safe. He asked Trunks to look after you. He gave up his life to save you.”

The sick feeling that she had had since the moment she saw her husband in the stadium finally started to fade away. As always, Goku knew what she needed to hear. She gazed at Piccolo, and something about the way he smiled at her, full of understanding, comforted her. Yes, he too, understood her husband. Piccolo had walked the same path, but had been redeemed, chose to fight for others and keep the world safe, rather than conquering it. Goku seemed to have that effect on others.

“Thank you both.” Bulma took Goku's hand and squeezed it. "I'll be with you guys in bit. I just need a moment.” He nodded and embraced her in a warm hug.

“Of course.” The two warriors retreated towards the main building, and Bulma turned back to stare out over the Earth. Her heart was a long way from healing and there were still many emotions she needed to deal with, but for now, she would steel herself and prepare to do what she could to help her friends against this new threat. It was what Vegeta would have done. There would be time to deal with her loss later. She padded away from the edge and back towards where her friends were. She wanted to be there when Trunks woke up, to hold him and tell him that no matter what, she was here for him. He was now the Prince of all Saiyans and he would keep her Vegeta's memory alive.


End file.
